Difference between revisions of "Jenny Chiang"
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| above = Jenny Chiang | | above = Jenny Chiang | ||
− | | image1 = [[File: | + | | image1 = [[File:ChiangWA.jpg|225px]] |
− | | caption1= | + | | caption1= Chiang speaking before the WA General Assembly, 2015 |
| headerstyle = background:#E6E6FA; | | headerstyle = background:#E6E6FA; | ||
− | | header2 = | + | | header2 = President-elect of {{nation|Omigodtheykilledkenny}} |
− | | | + | | label3 = Assumes office | data3 = June 6, 2020 |
− | | label4 = | + | | label4 = Vice President | data4 = [[Justin Grey]] (elect) |
− | | label5 = | + | | label5 = Succeeding | data5 = [[Sammy Faisano]] |
− | | header6 = | + | | header6 = Kennyite National Security Adviser |
| header7 = Incumbent | | header7 = Incumbent | ||
− | | label8 = Assumed office | data8 = March 2006 | + | | label8 = Assumed office | data8 = February 13, 2008 |
− | | | + | | label9 = President | data9 = [[Manuelo Fernanda]]<br>[[Sammy Faisano]] |
− | | | + | | header10 = [[Omigodtheykilledkenny and the World Assembly#Personnel|Kennyite Security Attaché to the WA]] |
− | | | + | | header11 = Incumbent |
− | | | + | | label12 = Assumed office | data12 = March 2006 |
+ | | header13 = Personal details | ||
+ | | label14 = Born | data14 = {{birth date and age|mf=yes|1977|10|25}}<br>[[Paradise City|Paradise City, D.P.]] | ||
+ | | label15 = Political party | data15 = [[Political parties of Omigodtheykilledkenny|Conservative]] | ||
+ | | label16 = Residence | data16 = [[WA Headquarters]] | ||
}} | }} | ||
− | '''Jennifer Lee Chiang''' (b. October 25, 1977) is | + | '''Jennifer Lee Chiang''' (b. October 25, 1977) is president-elect of [[Omigodtheykilledkenny]]. The [[Political parties of Omigodtheykilledkenny|Conservative Party]] nominee in the [[2020 Omigodtheykilledkenny presidential election|March 31, 2020 election]], she assumes office on June 6. Described as "a macho Navy commando in a corset and a thong," Captain Chiang has served as the Kennyite national security adviser and [[Omigodtheykilledkenny and the World Assembly#Personnel|security attaché to the World Assembly]] for a number of years. Her surname derives from that of Chinese republican hero [[wikipedia:Chiang Kai-shek|Chiang Kai-shek]], from whom she claims direct lineage. |
==Career== | ==Career== | ||
An officer in a naval "Stripper Commandos" brigade during the 2005 Kawaiian [[The Eternal Kawaii–Omigodtheykilledkenny relations#History|Kitten Revolution]], Lieutenant Chiang was promoted to commander and given command over the security detail for the Kennyite UN/WA mission in March 2006. When then-Ambassador [[Jack Riley]] was placed on "medical leave" in July of that year, Chiang was granted broader authority to formulate mission policy, especially as it applied to national- and international-security matters. She served as interim ambassador in 2007 and deputy ambassador from 2007 to 2008. She was promoted to captain in 2011. | An officer in a naval "Stripper Commandos" brigade during the 2005 Kawaiian [[The Eternal Kawaii–Omigodtheykilledkenny relations#History|Kitten Revolution]], Lieutenant Chiang was promoted to commander and given command over the security detail for the Kennyite UN/WA mission in March 2006. When then-Ambassador [[Jack Riley]] was placed on "medical leave" in July of that year, Chiang was granted broader authority to formulate mission policy, especially as it applied to national- and international-security matters. She served as interim ambassador in 2007 and deputy ambassador from 2007 to 2008. She was promoted to captain in 2011. | ||
− | + | [[File:Chiang.JPG|thumb|left|Then-Lt. Chiang, protecting her country from [[The Eternal Kawaii–Omigodtheykilledkenny relations#History|psychotic rampaging kittens]], 2005.]] | |
Then-Cdr. Chiang described her wartime experience as it applied to her goals as a diplomat when she was first introduced to the UN mission: "Considering [that] warfare, mindless destruction, smashing shit up, and random acts of violence turn on the average Kennyite just as much as the usual kinky sexual stuff, exploring the...ahem...''exotic'' aspects of armed conflict was a natural move for us. This philosophy came in handy when we put down that prudish asylum of deranged kitty-worshipers one tragic Christmas. I was on hand for that special event, and witnessed firsthand the excellence of my comrades-in-arms, and the damage that can be done to the enemy simply by tantalizing the senses and arousing the hormonal appetites of all the boneheaded men that deign to rule this world." | Then-Cdr. Chiang described her wartime experience as it applied to her goals as a diplomat when she was first introduced to the UN mission: "Considering [that] warfare, mindless destruction, smashing shit up, and random acts of violence turn on the average Kennyite just as much as the usual kinky sexual stuff, exploring the...ahem...''exotic'' aspects of armed conflict was a natural move for us. This philosophy came in handy when we put down that prudish asylum of deranged kitty-worshipers one tragic Christmas. I was on hand for that special event, and witnessed firsthand the excellence of my comrades-in-arms, and the damage that can be done to the enemy simply by tantalizing the senses and arousing the hormonal appetites of all the boneheaded men that deign to rule this world." | ||
Chiang speaks for the Federal Republic during many [[WA General Assembly|General Assembly]] floor debates and drafting sessions, and is considered the more blunt and "brutally honest" speaker on the Kennyites' WA team. She is a steadfast advocate for rudeness, profanity and incivility on the GA floor. As security attaché, her rather zealous efforts at protecting the mission and its staff from perceived threats have come under scrutiny: she has been accused, if not formally charged, with using torture on terror suspects (and journalists, and rival ambassadors, etc.), spearheading "illegal" wiretaps, and installing listening devices in the [[Strangers' Bar]], where she is a frequent customer. It was in recognition for these tireless endeavors that Chiang was eventually appointed national security adviser, a position in which she devoted a seemingly unhealthy amount attention to the WA Security Council's repeated attempts to "commend" the Federal Republic. | Chiang speaks for the Federal Republic during many [[WA General Assembly|General Assembly]] floor debates and drafting sessions, and is considered the more blunt and "brutally honest" speaker on the Kennyites' WA team. She is a steadfast advocate for rudeness, profanity and incivility on the GA floor. As security attaché, her rather zealous efforts at protecting the mission and its staff from perceived threats have come under scrutiny: she has been accused, if not formally charged, with using torture on terror suspects (and journalists, and rival ambassadors, etc.), spearheading "illegal" wiretaps, and installing listening devices in the [[Strangers' Bar]], where she is a frequent customer. It was in recognition for these tireless endeavors that Chiang was eventually appointed national security adviser, a position in which she devoted a seemingly unhealthy amount attention to the WA Security Council's repeated attempts to "commend" the Federal Republic. | ||
− | She is said to have shared an excellent rapport with [[Sammy Faisano]] while he was UN ambassador, and has proven quite adept at thwarting current Ambassador [[Susa Batko-Yovino]]'s attempts to explode himself -- and evading ethics investigators' queries about her professionally disturbing and frankly | + | She is said to have shared an excellent rapport with [[Sammy Faisano]] while he was UN ambassador, and has proven quite adept at thwarting current Ambassador [[Susa Batko-Yovino]]'s attempts to explode himself -- and evading ethics investigators' queries about her professionally disturbing and, frankly, disgusting affair with him. |
==Famous quote== | ==Famous quote== |
Latest revision as of 01:18, 10 April 2020
Jenny Chiang | |
---|---|
Chiang speaking before the WA General Assembly, 2015 | |
President-elect of Omigodtheykilledkenny | |
Assumes office | June 6, 2020 |
Vice President | Justin Grey (elect) |
Succeeding | Sammy Faisano |
Kennyite National Security Adviser | |
Incumbent | |
Assumed office | February 13, 2008 |
President |
Manuelo Fernanda Sammy Faisano |
Kennyite Security Attaché to the WA | |
Incumbent | |
Assumed office | March 2006 |
Personal details | |
Born |
Paradise City, D.P. | October 25, 1977
Political party | Conservative |
Residence | WA Headquarters |
Jennifer Lee Chiang (b. October 25, 1977) is president-elect of Omigodtheykilledkenny. The Conservative Party nominee in the March 31, 2020 election, she assumes office on June 6. Described as "a macho Navy commando in a corset and a thong," Captain Chiang has served as the Kennyite national security adviser and security attaché to the World Assembly for a number of years. Her surname derives from that of Chinese republican hero Chiang Kai-shek, from whom she claims direct lineage.
Career
An officer in a naval "Stripper Commandos" brigade during the 2005 Kawaiian Kitten Revolution, Lieutenant Chiang was promoted to commander and given command over the security detail for the Kennyite UN/WA mission in March 2006. When then-Ambassador Jack Riley was placed on "medical leave" in July of that year, Chiang was granted broader authority to formulate mission policy, especially as it applied to national- and international-security matters. She served as interim ambassador in 2007 and deputy ambassador from 2007 to 2008. She was promoted to captain in 2011.
Then-Cdr. Chiang described her wartime experience as it applied to her goals as a diplomat when she was first introduced to the UN mission: "Considering [that] warfare, mindless destruction, smashing shit up, and random acts of violence turn on the average Kennyite just as much as the usual kinky sexual stuff, exploring the...ahem...exotic aspects of armed conflict was a natural move for us. This philosophy came in handy when we put down that prudish asylum of deranged kitty-worshipers one tragic Christmas. I was on hand for that special event, and witnessed firsthand the excellence of my comrades-in-arms, and the damage that can be done to the enemy simply by tantalizing the senses and arousing the hormonal appetites of all the boneheaded men that deign to rule this world."
Chiang speaks for the Federal Republic during many General Assembly floor debates and drafting sessions, and is considered the more blunt and "brutally honest" speaker on the Kennyites' WA team. She is a steadfast advocate for rudeness, profanity and incivility on the GA floor. As security attaché, her rather zealous efforts at protecting the mission and its staff from perceived threats have come under scrutiny: she has been accused, if not formally charged, with using torture on terror suspects (and journalists, and rival ambassadors, etc.), spearheading "illegal" wiretaps, and installing listening devices in the Strangers' Bar, where she is a frequent customer. It was in recognition for these tireless endeavors that Chiang was eventually appointed national security adviser, a position in which she devoted a seemingly unhealthy amount attention to the WA Security Council's repeated attempts to "commend" the Federal Republic.
She is said to have shared an excellent rapport with Sammy Faisano while he was UN ambassador, and has proven quite adept at thwarting current Ambassador Susa Batko-Yovino's attempts to explode himself -- and evading ethics investigators' queries about her professionally disturbing and, frankly, disgusting affair with him.
Famous quote
Additional materials
- Statesmen of the Antarctic - includes profile of Jenny Chiang, Feb. 4, 2011.